Dogma Alert

Friday, July 22, 2005

World Religions Collapse as Atheist Documentary Shatters Box-Office Records

Fri, Jul 22, 2005

Tew York, New York
Special to The Raving Atheist

Predicted to rake in more than $17 billion in receipts by the end of its New York run tomorrow night at the 59E59 St. Theatre, the atheist documentary The God Who Wasn’t There has forced religious leaders and believers worldwide to renounce their faith and immediately dissolve their churches, synagogues, Mosques and Covens.

Propelled by a recent review in Newsweek, the film by ex-fundamentalist Brian Flemming had by its opening day already eclipsed the estimated $611 million take of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Unlike The Passion, TGWWT does not celebrate Jesus but compares him to psychopath Charles Manson and exposes him as simply as another in a long series of mythical, sacrificed savior-Gods that most early pagans quickly rejected as frauds. Modern Christians are not portrayed as spiritually and intellectually-deep seekers of eternal truth, but as gullible, brainwashed, unreflective dupes woefully ignorant of the history, context and precepts of their dimwitted, incoherent superstition. Even liberal and moderate Christianity is dismissed as nonsensical double-talk lacking the courage of its half-hearted convictions.

On Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI, Pat Robertson and other religious figureheads are scheduled to hold a press conference to concede that adherence to their alternatively comforting/terror-inducing God-fictions has been rendered futile by the onslaught of TGWWT’s atheistic truth. “It violates human dignity for me to continue to insist that I am the Vicar on Earth of some non-existent Dionysis-clone,” said the Pope. Mel Gibson has announced plans to withdraw The Passion from circulation, offering complete refunds and admitting that he was insane to release a film glorifying suffering, vengeance and undeserved collective guilt. Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Wiccan leaders who have screened the film have reported “surprise” at how closely their own beliefs mirror the clumsy fairy tales of Christianity and vowed to encourage their followers to study science instead.

The success of Flemming’s godless blockbluster is widely attributed to its special effects. They include digitally-recorded video interviews with intelligent, knowledgeable experts talking sensibly about the idiocy and perils of religion -- as well as confrontations with believers which abandon the assumption that people should respect every utterance anyone spouts about God. The technology is considered superior to that used in prior depictions of religion, which attempted to portray faith as something “deep” and “mysterious” by piping in organ music over dimly-lit scenes of cud-chewing worshippers babbling piously in pews as sunlight streamed through stained-glass windows.


Post a Comment

<< Home